Rockbrat Wonders: Who Is The Most Ridiculous Looking Band In Heavy Metal? (Saxon)

The other day I was selling off my Saxon albums, and as I went through the jackets and inserts to make sure there were no freebie inserts / flyers etc for the buyer, I came across this gem. Have a look at these guys! This is Saxon circa 1985, the inner sleeve of the ‘Innocence Is No Excuse Album’. More commonly, its known as a fashion faux pas. Dear me, what the hell is going on here ? These guys look absolutely ridiculous! How did the photographer manage to keep a straight face throughout this session ? For cryin’ out loud, Spinal Tap had been out for at least 6 months when this album was released, but our NWOBHM heroes (who incidentally never made it in the States), obviously hadn’t seen it. I find that hard to believe, for Saxon bass player Steve ”Dobby’ Dawson was a key inspiration for Derek Smalls after all. One look at this photo will tell you why. Is he wearing a NIKE sports sweat shirt ? With a white jacket ? As for his folically challenged mate Paul Quinn ? Dear me. Is that a plastic sun visor he’s wearing ? Note the sweat bands too. Did he just come off the tennis court ? Ina few years Paul would be seen wearing a dead animal on his bonce, and looked scarier (but just as ridiculous) as Kev DuBrow in QR’s ‘Wild and the Young’ video, rest in peace Kev. What the hell is a glammed up Biff wearing ? Did someone forget to tell him that ‘Crusader’ was the album and tour from the pervious year? Is he wearing a Matador’s jacket ? Go easy with the make up Biff. Just let me rock! He looks just plain silly. About as silly as Phil Cohen and those white naval stripes he used to don. As for the drummer Nigel Glockler?  Well, he’s the drummer. You expect this kind of thing from drummers. Guitarist Graham Oliver is clad head to toe in Quo approved denim. A safe option. More to come soon!

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