Rockbrat Wonders: Who Had The Most Ridiculous Looking Fans In Heavy Metal? (Kreator)

As this photo from 1988 shows, speed metal bands did get chicks – of a kind. In the mid to late 80’s, speed metal was very much a males domain (Megadeth, Testament, Exodus etc). Great bands, but no poster boys, and sadly for those guys, the chicks dug Jon Bon Jovi and Mike Tramp. Yet one look at this photo of Kreator and their eastern European fans suggests that maybe the iron curtain would have been better staying closed. You can’t wipe the leering smiles off the faces of the Kreator dudes . “Man, chicks!” Both gals are decked out in Parfitt approved denim. In the metal fashion stakes, always the safest option. The metal head on the right of the picture has gone for the leather AND denim look. A classic. But wait a minute – he’s sporting a moustache, as favoured by many Euro metal bands in the early 80s. For a second there I thought it was Richie Blackmore. His buddy to the left is content to flip the bird at the camera. Nice one dude. Metal up your ass. The geezer at the back portrays a strange hybrid of styles – a Manowar t shirt and a tan sports jacket, complete with head band. Hey dufus, put the joint away, the Grateful Dead are on tomorrow night. At first look I thought he’d been lobotomised. Which leads me to the lady killer at front and centre. He’s gone all out to impress the Kreator boys backstage – he’s put the studs on his denim jacket, (including the pockets), the King Diamond and Kreator patches too – but he’s also gone for the mullet and moustache look ! Fashion faux pas all round – it’s no wonder the chicks are all over the Kreator dudes. Gimme a drink – PLEASE!