Rockbrat Wonders: Which band had the most heavy metal cliches? HELIX

Duuuuuude - chicks!

Good question, but you are actually wrong on both counts. No, it’s not Vixen and yes, there are men in the photo. No metal band in the 80s epitomised the heavy metal cliché quite like Canada’s Helix. Let’s take a look at the photo. First thing you notice – its big hair A PLENTY! No sparing of the aqua net here. The girls also have big hair. The Helix boys have grins bigger than the Grand Canyon. Anyone would think they had super models on their arm – but no, these guys are just happy to have chicks in their dressing room. Let’s take a look at the girls. These chicks look like they were groupies who’d been rejected by both Motley and Bon Jovi’s tour managers last time those bands rolled through town – so they thought they cut their losses and go for the Helix boys, well, they kinda look like Vince Neil don’t they girls ? The jury is still out on whether the chick on the far left used to be a guy, but the others ? The chick sitting on the lap of Nicko McBrain lookalike has that big mid 80’s Tina Turner hair thing goin’ on. Nicko’s look is one of pain – with those big chicken legs, she ain’t light you know! As for his Helix buddy at front left of photo. – what is what that black mesh singlet and bullet belt? Check out the Helix dude at the right of picture with the big Robert Sweet hair – copping a sly look down the front of the girls bikini top you devil. Maybe the boys were hoping for a bit of ‘heavy metal love’? Fraid not – these girls were only hired for the photos shoot! Next!

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