Rockbrat Wonders: Who Is The Ugliest Band In Rock – Good Charlotte

Look up the word ‘contrived’ in the dictionary and you’ll see a photograph of Good Charlotte. True. It’s also true I don’t know anything about them, besides being hideous, corporate, punk rock cut-outs. Oh and that big-eared, long-faced little twerp Ben Lee included a lyric about them in one of his songs. What was it Bernard Fanning from Powderfinger said to describe Lee some years back ? Hit the nail on the head there my friend. Lee is a perfect example of a very average ‘musician’ who’s managed to eek out a career, courtesy only of clueless kids who wouldn’t know their arse from their elbow. All those hipsters at Triple J who played and promted his music should feel ashamed of themselves. But onto the subject of this post ! Japan’s InRock Magazine focuses chiefly on pop and lightweight rock and if you see the other band names listed on this magazine cover, it speaks volumes about the credibility and talent of these bozos, called Good Charlotte. The dude at the back in the shades is off the rockbrat radar as he looks like he just managed to get his mug in the pic by accident. Doing ‘a Dahmer’ maybe ? One guy’s wearing a hoodie and has the whispy moustache thing happening. It’s a good look. I don’t get the ‘hoodie’ thing. Back in the late 70’s, you put one on your melon if it was raining or if the wind was blowing at footy training. Not sure which one of the other three unwise monkeys to nail first but we’ll go with the lanky one. Earrings, black eyeliner and a shark haircut. Dude – you are so unoriginal it ain’t worth further thought. Of major concern are the two ogres on the far left. Armfulls of ink, heavy on the eyeliner and even a funny hat to boot. Put your f#%king cap on correctly – I cannot stand that shit. Two words: boring and predictable – and again, not an ounce of originality. Case in point is the dork with the hat who has shamelessly done his make-up all Coop-like. With his matching lip studs, this toad could haunt houses. Friend – there’s one of you on every street corner. They’ve even got matching JC tatts – how cool is that ?! That might shock your hell-fearing church-goer but that’s about it. Acts like this – along with crap like Rancid – is about as safe as punk rock can get folks, so don’t ever be fooled by this trickery. Bands of this ilk have about as much credibililty with me as the  manufactured all-boy bands and I can only hope you banked your cash when it came your way because your time in the limelight – thankfully – was limited. Next.

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