Rockbrat Wonders: About a Guns n Roses Re-union

...hey Slash - you seen my copy of Face To face ?

Once upon a time – back in the late 70’s – a lanky teen from Indiana was feeding himself a steady diet of Aussie blooze and rock by way of the Angels and Rosie Tatts.   He ends up jumping a greyhound to LA and fronting a band powerful enough to take on the world (never did match the power of the aforementioned bands and someone like Motorhead in my opinion) and cut some great tunes. Things started to go pear-shaped in the early 90’s when you surround yourself with ‘yes men’ and your ego grows out of control. You successfully manage to alienate most of your band mates and your millions of devotees by acting like a prat. Your major label gets tired of you fast and release a covers album ‘Spaghetti Incident’ and a shoddy live album. You take two decades (count em) to release an album which sinks faster than the Hindenburg and you tour the world in support of it. You fail to see that the folks buying tickets are either over forty and just want to hear tunes from ‘Appetite’ or are youngsters who missed out first time round and want to say they’ve seen you live. You also continue to piss punters off by appearing on stage very late, and by having on-stage tantrums. So where to from here ? Well, kick your monogrammed basketball boots off, and lay on Dr Rockbrat’s sofa – as I’m gonna tell you what many of the world’s rock fans are pleading for – but only you cannot hear – Mr Rose.

It’s called a re-union my friend. Stradlin, Slash, Duff, you and Adler. Those names are Guns n Roses. Not you. The lightweight line-up you tour the world with currently is name only. Much like the Beach Boys (maybe you and the evil Mike Love should form a band – is he your Dad ?). Go meet in a studio and jam. No hangers-on – this means you Sorum, Seb Bach, assorted minders and ‘yes men’. Drink some fine beer – give Rose Tattoo’s first album a loud airing. Remember why it is you got into cool rock n roll in the first place. Go do a show unannounced – and I mean unannounced – like Kiss did at the Grammy’s in 1996. No talk, no nothing – just a set of blazing covers and cool rock n roll tunage. Leave all in the club awestruck. Fly to the Big Apple and do a group interview with Ed Trunk and announce the re-union tour. Why not release a tour EP ? Something you can cut live to tape as well. Not painstakingly pour over for years and years. Quick and easy. Go play the big festivals and show em how powerful you once were. No carry-on – no onstage rants – no arriving late on stage. Screw that. Just five guys blasting cool, loud rock n roll with a minimum of fuss. Kiss finally got the message and did the 77 tour. For you it’s 1987 or nothing – comprehende ? Way you go now…

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