Rockbrat Wonders: When Will The Osbournes Go Away?

Photo by Dave Hogan/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Photo by Dave Hogan/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Is it just me – or are there other people in the world who also wish that Ozzy Osbourne and his family would just go away. In 2011 – he is so overexposed – it’s reached saturation point. I am so tired of seeing his mug, or his publicity hungry wife, or one of their kids – when is enough is enough? If it weren’t for their mother exploiting the Osbourne surname, the slim and good looking offspring Jack and Kelly wouldn’t have the opportunity to be ever present identities like they have become. In actually fact – their contribution is zero. Why should anyone care if Jack Osbourne releases a movie about his father ?

Let’s be objective here and have a little look at some of the unnecessary media/TV/movies etc that the Osbournes have rammed down our throats in recent times. NEWS FLASH: Ozzy offers ‘Dr. Ozzy’s Seven-Day Guide To Better Living’. Ozzy’s son JACK to Become First-Time Father. Sharon Osbourne talks about her impending Grand motherhood, Ozzy to guest on NBC ‘Today’ show – Is this crap REALLY newsworthy? Jack Osbourne becomes father – newsworthy? Come on.

The ruthless Sharon Osbourne is a master of media manipulation and could sell ice to eskimos. She’ll tell you its news and you better believe it – and then buy the book. The mainstream viewer loves to watch Ozzy incoherently bumble about in front of them. He’s never got anything new to say, but we are gonna hear it again anyway. Let’s see – Ozzy talks about his battle with sobriety – check, the head biting incidents with the bat and dove – check – his struggle growing up in working class Birmingham – check, how Ozzy snorted a line of ants in 1984 with Nikki Sixxcheeseburgers – check.  Let’s hear the one again about how Ozzy was fired from Sabbath in 1979 and spent 3 months in a LA hotel getting loaded – before he was rescued by Sharon Arden. Or how Ozzy almost killed Sharon. Please. Did I miss anything Sharon ? You don’t seem to trot out the Alamo incident anymore do you? (In 1982 while wearing his future wife Sharon’s dress because she had hidden his clothes, Osbourne drunkenly urinated on a cenotaph erected in honour of those who died at the Alamo in Texas, across the street from the actual building). Ignorant turd. Men gave their life at the Alamo. Point is – these stories are all so OLD, but they get rehashed all the time on every TV show or interview. BORING! I’d rather hear what people like Bob Daisley have to say myself.

The spunky Kelly Osbourne: "Mum - Is it too late for a modelling career?"

Let’s call a spade a spade – and credit where credit is due. I was a big Ozzy fan (but as I’ve said elsewhere, what I really dug about Ozzy was Randall Rhoads). The Sabbath material is awesome, untouchable. His first three solo albums – again, landmark, and due to Rhoads and Daisley – are considered classics. Yet after that ?….. I was hooked on Bark at the Moon. With Jake E. Lee on board, formerly of Ratt and Rough Cutt, the album, (co-written with Bob Daisley), featured Tommy Aldridge, and former Rainbow keyboard player Don Airey. I even sat through all the glam and fluff of 1986’s The Ultimate Sin, which at the time I thought was a pretty good LP. A rich, bold album, it features “Shot in the Dark” and fan favourites “Killer of Giants,” “Lightning Strikes,” and “Secret Loser.” At the time of its release, The Ultimate Sin was Osbourne’s highest charting studio album. In the early 80’s I used to have a ‘Bark At The Moon’ US Tour t shirt. NO ONE back then knew who Ozzy was. Nowadays, he’s a brand name. Through their reality show, ‘The Osbournes’ – the family name is as familiar or common as Metallica. To this day Osbourne refuses to watch any episodes, claiming he was stoned during the entire filming. Well done Oz. Let’s look at further examples of media manipulation via Sharon. There was the Ozzfest touring venture. In 2005, Osbourne and his wife Sharon starred in an MTV competition reality show entitled “Battle for Ozzfest. The Osbournes hosted the 30th Annual American Music Awards in January 2003 where the family swore like sailors. Well done again.  I saw Sharon Osbourne as the panel judge on one of those American Idol shows. Knew she’d have her finger in that pie – and you thought Yoko Ono was an opportunist?

What bugs me most is their continual exploitation of Randy Rhoads for a dollar. It’s repulsive. NO one from the Randy Rhoads camp is ever present (or allowed to be present) to verify or challenge any of the info about Rhoads that is being presented. Not Sarzo, Aldridge, Max Norman, and certainly not Daisley. Let me reiterate the point – if it wasn’t for Randy Rhoads, Ozzy Osbourne would not enjoy the celebrity status and so called significance he does today. If Rhoads had not entered the picture, Osbourne may just well have remained the singer of Sabbath from the seventies.

Jack Osbourne: His name is cool

Gus G, Zakk Wylde, all carbon copied third rate version of Rhoads. I like Jake E Lee who at least added something different to the role and didn’t try to ape Rhoads like the others did, particularly Wylde. No means feat filling Rhoads’ shoes and Lee did a great job. Why was he sacked anyway from Osbourne’s band? We never hear about that do we Shaz. By the late 80’s, Id lost interested in Ozzy. In 2011, I look on at the whole Osbourne charade the same way I view anything KISS do nowadays. It’s no longer about the music, it’s a cash grab  and media manipulation that has moved so far away from the original intent of the musical focus that I can no longer identify with it – maybe I’m not the only one.

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