This ad for Kramer guitars appeared in an old issue of Circus magazine from 1984 and it certainly takes me back. As a teenager I used to stare at this ad though green eyes thinking that the dudes in the photo had it all. Two metalheads both sporting shag haircuts, wearing muscle shirts and posing number 9 in front of their girlfriends. Where do you find chicks like this ? I used to think. Attractive AND into heavy metal? The girls are looking up admiringly at their boyfriends who are both pretending to shred with their new Kramer axes. The girls look like attractive identical twins, cheerleaders possibly, and both A grade types who in reality would have nothing to do with metal or the two douche bags carrying on in front of them. A sunny suburban, middle class scene of white picket fences and elm tree lined streets is imagined. One of the girls is sitting with a puppy in her lap (I said puppy)- though in reality she looks like she’d be more at home with her jock boyfriend than this Eddie Van Halen wannabe in front of her. Both girls are dressed in mid 80s fashion, wearing life preserver vests as worn by Marty McFly’s girlfriend Jennifer in ‘Back To The Future’. The dude on the right is wearing a white jacket with the sleeves folded up. It’s no wonder both girls are checking out the other dude – the one in the sleeveless muscle shirt with serious Jeff Watson (Night Ranger) aspirations. Its a picture of innocent teen times, bottles of soda, the walls plastered with pictures of Van Halen and Eddie in particular (in 1983/84 there was none bigger remember) even some trophies that the boys won in the Little Leagues. They must have hid the porno mags before the girls arrived. They have a couple of albums lying around – Deep Purple: In Rock, Van Halen and Jeff Beck’s Truth LP. Way to go fellas – chicks dig guitar heroes. An envious friend is leering in from outside – sneaking a peek through the window at the scene of adolescent heavy metal wet dreams. Well – that’s was the message intended from Kramer Guitars right? Get the axe and the chicks will follow – just liked the rats and the pied piper. Smart idea from the marketing department. How many dudes fell for this huh? Plenty I bet. From my memory – there was VERY FEW chicks into heavy metal, and they were of dubious gender, it was very much a male’s domain. Chicks like the ones in the photo were into the chart music of the day- or whatever their jock boyfriend listened to. That all changed when John Bongiovi sanitised it and made it girl friendly. That’s another story I may have already written elsewhere. Next!