On the weekend I was dial surfing on the radio – when I thought I’d listen to what was playing on the country music channel. After listening to two tunes laden with clichés for the truck driving beer drinking set (and maybe some of their boyfriends too), I retreated back to the safety of classic rock radio. Ah, wheel in the sky, come up and see me make me smile, horror movie. That’s better. Now before I go any further, let it be known that Cowboy Col loves outlaw country music. I dig Kristofferson, and the man in black (who doesn’t nowadays right), Tommy Emmanuel, even Buck Owens and his Bakersfield sound. I love all those hard rockin’ southern fried boogie bands too – from Molly Hatchet to Doc Halliday, 38 Special, Skynyrd – yes mam, I dig em all. I even thought Toby Keith’s performance in the movie ‘Broken Bridges’ was pretty good for a first timer, although he essentially played a carbon copied version of himself. The Outlaws version of ‘Ghost Riders’ I dig a lot too, – but the stuff I heard yesterday, by current country megastars Lee Brice and Luke Bryant make it abundantly clear why modern country music maintains a fundamentally white audience. And you can construe from that what you will. Whilst there’s an oversupply of pop diva moppets in the pop genre, and all singing / dancing ensembles too, lets’ not forget that cardboard cut-out stereotypes flourish in the country market too – with their dumb lyrics about beer, wimmin, being drunk, pickup trucks, trucks in general, Main Streets – oh and beer. Now I ain’t throwing stones specifically at these two, but the lyrics to Lee Brice’s (LB1) ‘Parking Lot Party’ make vintage lyrics by Poison or Ratt sound like sheer prose in comparison. In 1986, the doco ‘Heavy Metal Parking Lot’ alerted the world to the refined art of having a pre gig party in the parking lot. With drink driving laws so common nowadays, Im a little surprised to see that the tradition still continues, to the extent that LB1 celebrates the practice in song. Hey Jason – Lee, give mama another can of Busch. I wants to par-tay. Hell yeah! LB1 shows that when it comes to song writin’, his lyrics are as socially poignant and enduring as Zimmerman. Don’t get me wrong. I’m far from a prude when it comes to lryics. I mean, did you ever interpret anything of significance from a KI$$ lyric? However, LB1 takes it down a couple of pegs further. Check it out. “Johnny’s firing’ up his Coleman grill, we’ve got 24 tall boys on the chill”, at the parking lot party, Tailgate buzz just sipping’ on suds” and wait for it, “yeah, pass me the chicken wings now.” If y’all check out the video below, you’ll notice that LB1 fancies the pies as well as the chicken wings. The best part of the video is- obviously – the girls. The music? Its OK, The lyrics? Nah. OK, let’s check out LB2 (Luke Bryan) and his big hit from 2011, “Country Girl (Shake It For Me)”. Check out the video – which I like a lot. It reminds of Motley’s ‘Girls Girl’s Girls’ video from 87. Which was banned on many channels back then. Scantily clad hot women cavorting on stage, but again, the lyrics ? “Got a little boom in my big truck, Gonna open up the doors and turn it up”, “Get up on the hood of my daddy’s tractor”, “Up on the tool box, it don’t matter”. “Shake it for the crickets and the critters and the squirrels, Spin me around this big ole barn, Tangle me up like grandma’s yarn.” Daddy’s tractor? Grandmas yarn? You are telling me that there are people who actually relate to these kind of lyrics? And to think Tipper Gore had a problem with lyrics by John Denver. Anyway, y’all be the judge now.